The Captain's Table


Every crew needs a captain. And it just so happens that the U.S.S. Bad Netflix has FIVE. Epic Crews need Epic Captains.

Scary Larry
Captain: Deadite Division

Sick bastard must be one of them "masochists". Why else would he watch so many godawful movies? Especially bad horror movies. Bad movies are scary enough, but bad scary movies? That's like scary squared. Maybe he's atoning for some depraved sins from a past life. Maybe he's a test subject in his own scientific study of how much bad movie punishment a human can survive. But most likely, he probably just gets off on it. He just ain't right.


Mr. Gable
Captain: Nilbog Division

Mr. Gable resides mostly in Mr. Gable's Reality. That reality is much more fun than the one you live in. There, ANYTHING is possible! Ridiculous fights, out of place robots, unnecessary sequels, annoying characters, Troll 2, and anything Charles Band has ever touched! Mr. Gable's Reality is your independent resource for everything BAD. Bad Movie News, Reviews, Opinions, and so much more!


Stacia
Captain: Corman Division

Jet-setting socialite Stacia became a household name in 1982 when she invented the snack cracker. After the Great Saltine Tragedy of 1996 she went into seclusion, finally emerging years later as a movie blogger and Emmitt Nervend impersonator. She loves horror movies, the smell of gasoline, and Reb Brown. Stacia doesn't know what a Netflix is, but she participates in the NIBMMs anyway.


Tromeric
Captain: Endurance Division(powered by junkie blood)

Tromeric can be found sitting in a dark room watching Homeward Bound followed by A Serbian Film.  He found a secret potion called the grog.  It is similar to The Gummi Bears Gummibear Juice but instead of making him bounce from here to everywhere it gives him the ability to endure movies such as Blood Freak and The Room on a regular basis. When he drinks the grog he also has the ability to have more references that you don't understand than Wikipedia.  In the off chance he is taking a break from the grog you can find him drinking coffee from a cup with half of the Black Dahlia pictured on it eating Count Chocula and making lists about whether The Taint has a better soundtrack than Voyage of the Rock Aliens.


Vincent, the Fuzzy Skeletonian
Captain: Fuzzy Division

Vincent soon plans to unleash a great army of Fuzzy Skeletonian soldiers who will defile and mangle everything and everyone in their path, thus thrusting his grim world view on all of humanity.  In his off time Vincent enjoys drawing, painting, Mexican food, wine, margaritas, porn, beef, ripping on bad movies and complaining.